If Only

I dreamt of us yesterday.

Tayo.

Ikaw at ako.

Like seriously, di ko rin alam kung bakit o paano pero oo naging tayo- Naging tayo sa panaginip ko.

Ang saya nga e. Tinanggap mo daw ako. As if- Hahaha. Joke. Pero sa panaginip lang naman e. Lahat naman tayo libre managinip. Miski ikaw. Kaya 'yon... honestly, di ko na tanda kung anong mga nangyari. Basta ang alam ko, lahat ng ugali na ipinakita mo sa akin bilang kaibigan ko, like yung kabaitan mo, mas naging triple nung naging tayo. Napapaisip nalang ako that time na ako na yung pinakamaswerteng babae kasi napili mo ko, kasi pinili mo ko- tinanggap mo ko. Feeling ko nga nakangiti ako habang natutulog e. Hahahaha. Pero wala namang sinabi sina mama so hindi.

Nakakapangsisi lang talaga na hindi ko siya sinulat kaagad lahat ng nangyari nung nagising ako (sa -katotohanan) edi sana nababalik-balikan ko siya at mapangiti kapag binasa ko ng paulit-ulit. 

Di na ko magtataka kung bakit napanaginipan kita ngayon kasi miss na kita e. As friend lang naman. Pero syempre di halata kasi ganito yung panaginip ko. HAHAHAHAHA. Ayun, sana okay ka lang. Oh, congrats nga pala since napromote ka daw. Heh. Alam ko namang mangyayari yan kasi ikaw yan e.

Anyway, take care of yourself always, special someone.

Confession #7

Yesterday was the first time I stalked your facebook account ever since graduation day.

Actually di ko alam kung bakit pero natatakot akong makita kung anong nasa profile mo before. Hahaha. I mean I know hindi ka naman katakot-takot and hindi naman puro scary posts ang pinopost mo- wait, di ka nga masyadong nagpopost e, pero yun.. di ko talaga alam kung ba't ayaw kita makita kahit sa picture.

Glad you're doing well.

At buti wala kang picture kasama girlfriend mo kung meron man. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Not that I'm going to be jealous.. well, maybe..?

Dunno. O dahil sa sobrang tagal na rin kitang nagustuhan kaya affected na affected pa rin ako kahit mabanggit lang nila pangalan mo. Hahahahaha. Kainis.

Di naman ako umaasa. Alam ko naman na hindi tayo meant to be together. Makakahanap din ako ng bagong mamahalin at mas mamahalin pa kesa sayo pero matagal pa siguro yun.. kaya for now, please let me like you in secret. Not that you'll ever know unless you visit this site.

Happy Birthday to you!

So it's your birthday today and I'm writing my greeting for you here instead of messaging you on facebook since up until now I still don't have any courage to talk to you.

Ah... So, ano nga bang sasabihin ko? Well... Yun nga. Happy happy birthday to you, Mr. Left! You never really celebrated your birthday— not that I know of— so I'm sure this will suffice. Or not. Hahaha. Gusto mo ba ng gift? Osige, next time kapag nagkatrabaho na ko. Although I'm sure I won't be able to give it to you at magiging tambak lang siya sa damitan ko. Anywaaaay, how are you doing? Hope you're taking care of yourself properly and also uh, di ka na nalelate? Kidding aside, sana masaya ka ngayon or kahit hindi ngayon since I'm wishing for you to be happy always. Of course, I'm not only just talking about your career but also your love life. Hehe. Don't worry kaya naman kitang suportahan e. Since di naman ako umaasa. Aaaaand namimiss lang naman kita. Yun lang. Sana magkita ulit tayo— makita kita, kahit di mo na ko makita. Para naman maging masaya man lang ako sa buhay. O kaya batiin mo ko sa birthday ko para naman makumpleto buong taon ko. Hahahahahahahahaha. Di daw umaasa. Ewan.

Pero yuuuun, basta, di mo naman makikita 'to so kahit ano nalang. Happy birthday ulit!

Like a Prince

Ah...

Watching Princess Hours which used your name as one of the main characters reminded me of you.

Yeah, the Prince.

Since you're like a prince too. Someone who is gentle and kind, even handsome if you were to ask me. Someone who lives differently from me. Someone I can't get a hold to. Someone I can't touch freely. Someone I can only watch from a far. Someone whose heart I won't be able to get no matter how hard I try.

Right. You're like a prince, a commoner like me can only dream to be with.

What a dream..

Is it really a dream or a nightmare? Sighs.

I don't know why I dreamt of it that way- but it hurts. My heart hurts thinking that it could be true. But confirming it is much scarier.

I'm writing about this here in my notes right now so I won't forget. So I won't forget that vivid handsome image of him and his fluffy hair and boyish smile while talking in the camera, wearing a three-piece black suit and the background showing the airport. Ah, and who would have thought that the girl waiting for him that time is his ex in highschool (I'm not gonna mentioned her name because.. well just because.) being pretty and all... Until the scene changed into the two of them- hugging and... kissing... And wow. It freakin' hurts.

My dream was doing well at first so I don't know why that happened. I don't even want to know the reason because what if it's a sign? What if it's a sign for me to check on my account and talk to him even though it doesn't really make sense because what do I even want to tell him- and it's not like he has something to tell me... right?

I don't know.

It might be a dream but it's scary. I don't even love him anymore so it's weird that I'm feeling like this.

I hate it.

I hate to admit it but I kind of missed him.